Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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