Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
