I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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