Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
