I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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