Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i love accidental penises.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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