How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
