I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
