That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
