i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
