I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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