told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You took a bar mat shot.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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