Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
