Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
