Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it because I queefed?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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