just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
