FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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