4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
