Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
