I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
do herpes really smell.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
