So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
