I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
