Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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