Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
