I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
