i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
