does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
