i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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