I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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