Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
