Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
did i walk over a car last night?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
