All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
vagina is talking i cant
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
