when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
