Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Randomize
