DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
