tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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