I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
