just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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