Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
