I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
