Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
