Barsexuality is the new black.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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