I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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