Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
