So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
