there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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