her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
