i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
