You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
