Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
