so explain again why im purple
no
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
